The Art of Blame-Shifting "Question Time Edition"
A Reply to Matt Goodwin
Dear Matt,
I recently had the absolute joy of reading your latest piece—a passionate, theatrical college performance in which you bravely took on the woke elites, the BBC audience, and reality itself. Churchill would weep with pride. If only there were medals for complaining about the ECHR while ignoring actual solutions to Britain's problems, you’d already have an OBE.
Now, credit where it’s due—you’ve ma$tered the art of the populi$t blame game. Britain’s economy is tanking, wages are stagnant, and our infrastructure is held together with chewing gum and nostalgia, but your biggest enemy? Immigration and the ECHR. Yes, of course. Because nothing screams economic stability like deporting more asylum seekers while simultaneously torching our diplomatic reputation.
But since I like my political commentary with a side of facts, let’s do the unthinkable and go through your arguments one by one.
Immigration Is Not Why Britain Is Circling the Drain
You insist that mass immigration is collapsing Britain, but that argument falls apart faster than Boris Johnson’s moral compass. Let’s take a quick trip to reality.
Brexit-induced trade losses? UK-EU goods trade has shrunk by 17 percent, but sure, let’s blame the Albanian asylum seeker instead of the actual Brexit deal.
Labour shortages? The NHS, agriculture, and hospitality sectors are bleeding out, but yes, let’s solve it by… reducing migration.
Productivity crisis? Started in 2008, but by all means, tell me how it’s the fault of a refugee in a dinghy who just arrived yesterday.
And if mass immigration is really the problem, then please explain why Germany is outpacing us in GDP growth despite taking in over a million migrants in 2015 alone. Why is Canada’s economy thriving despite some of the highest immigration levels in the Western world? Why are Australia’s wages higher, productivity stronger, and public services better funded despite welcoming more migrants per capita than the UK?
At some point, you have to accept that maybe, just maybe, it’s not the migrants wrecking Britain—it’s the people who’ve been running the place for the last 14 years.
Leaving the ECHR: The Geopolitical Equivalent of Setting Yourself on Fire to Keep Warm
Ah yes, the magical solution to all Britain’s woes—leaving the European Convention on Human Rights. Because nothing solves a broken economy like dismantling legal protections and putting the UK in the same club as Russia and Belarus.
The ECHR is baked into the Good Friday Agreement, so leaving it could destabilise Northern Ireland, but sure, let’s play legal Jenga with peace treaties.
Leaving would also mean cutting ties with Europol and EU law enforcement, making it harder to track and extradite criminals. Genius.
If your master plan for Britain’s sovereignty involves wrecking our trade, security, and diplomatic standing, then congratulations, you’re on track to turn us into an island-sized failed state.
Culture Wars: The Most Convenient Distraction Ever Invented
Now we get to my favourite part—your insistence that woke elites are the real reason Britain is in decline. Not government policy, not economic mismanagement—just too many people with blue hair and opinions.
Let’s check the scoreboard.
Housing crisis? Sky-high rent is not the fault of women wearing trousers.
Stagnant wages? Not because a university lecturer once mentioned colonialism.
Declining NHS funding? Sorry, but it’s not because a handful of teenagers dyed their hair blue.
What’s next? Blaming inflation on oat milk? Claiming tax evasion skyrocketed because Harry Styles wore a dress? Insisting food banks are overflowing because someone in Brighton identifies as a tree?
At this rate, you’ll be telling us the pound collapsed because of gender-neutral toilets and Brexit went wrong because of too many yoga studios.
Meanwhile, the actual causes of Britain’s decline—chronic underinvestment, an economy built on speculation instead of production, now with people more interested in culture wars than fixing anything!
Funny how that works.
If You Want to “Fix Britain,” Try Actual Solutions
Instead of doom-scrolling for things to be outraged about, here’s a radical idea—we could actually implement policies that work. Here’s where to start.
Fix Brexit’s economic mess. Trade barriers are suffocating businesses, but hey, let’s keep blaming migrants instead.
Increase wages. Investment in skills, automation, and industry would be smart, but sure, let’s cry about universities being “too woke.”
Smarter immigration policy. Sector-based visas to fill labour gaps in healthcare, construction, and tech would be logical. So naturally, it won’t happen.
Stronger border security without working international agreements. If France and Germany can handle deportations while staying in the ECHR, maybe we should try competence instead of performative nationalism.
Final Thought: Matt, Who Are You Even Fighting?
Your version of Britain’s decline reads like a Daily Mail fever dream, where ordinary Brits are being hunted down by gangs of asylum seekers armed with wind turbines and critical race theory textbooks.
Here’s the real battle, Matt from the college.
It’s not “the people vs. woke elites.”
It’s serious policies vs. performative outrage.
You want to be a leader? Offer real solutions. You want to keep getting booked on GB News? Keep yelling about the ECHR. Either way, I’d appreciate some new material.
Sincerely,
Someone Who’d Prefer a Functioning Economy Over Another Pointless Culture War
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