Kemi Badenoch’s Speech: The ‘New Leadership’ That Brought Us to the Edge of the Abyss

The audacity of a party that spent 14 years destroying the country now claiming to be the solution. Spoiler: They’re not fooling anyone.

Dear Kemi,

Well, well, well—thank you for your “new leadership” speech. It’s always a pleasure to hear from someone who’s part of the party that’s been in power for 14 years, but is now suddenly claiming to have unlocked the “truth” and figured out how to fix things. It’s like watching someone who’s been driving the car straight into a wall for years, suddenly taking credit for “getting us on the right road.” If anything, it’s impressive to witness how shamelessly you’re trying to sell this narrative. I’ll give you that. A true masterclass in political spin.

You say the Conservative Party is “under new leadership,” but forgive me if I don’t immediately fall for the “I’ve changed!” act. It’s the same old Conservative Party, with the same tired faces who helped orchestrate this national disaster. It’s a bit like buying a new coat for a skeleton and calling it a “revolutionary makeover.” Let’s not pretend the last decade of your party’s rule didn’t happen. You can’t wipe that slate clean just by putting on a shiny new pair of shoes and spitting out some buzzwords.

On New Leadership and Accountability

You talk about the truth—truth-telling, even when it’s uncomfortable—but you’ve been part of the team that was too busy creating the mess to actually address it. The problems you now claim to be tackling—economic disparity, a broken NHS, unaffordable housing—didn’t just happen overnight. They happened over the course of 14 years, while you were there, collecting your salary and watching it all burn down. You can’t simply pop up, give a speech, and say, “Look, I’m new now!” like a reformed criminal. The public isn’t that gullible.

And the biggest con? The audacity to present yourself as someone capable of fixing the very issues your government helped create. This is like the arsonist suddenly volunteering to “clean up” the wreckage. Sure, you’ve learned a lot about the truth—mostly how to dodge responsibility.

On the Economy and Business

Now let’s talk about your newfound love for business and the economy. Oh, how convenient! You’ve suddenly become the champion of the free market after being a key player in a government that single-handedly destroyed it. You spent 14 years creating an economic nightmare and now you’re presenting yourself as the economic Messiah. How exactly did your government make the economy more competitive? By making sure wages stayed stagnant, taxes went up, and businesses were left clinging to life after Brexit? You’re right; businesses were so supported under your leadership—just ask the thousands of small businesses that were ground into dust by the uncertainty your government unleashed. If you want to talk about the “engine of growth,” maybe you should look at the engine you broke and then abandoned at the side of the road.

You say you want to lower taxes and boost businesses. Well, newsflash: you had 14 years to do that, and all you’ve done is put your hands in the pockets of the working class while giving tax cuts to the rich. If you were actually a friend of business, you’d start by apologising for all the damage your policies caused. But no, you prefer to blame the Labour Party, who’ve been in charge for a mere six months, for everything that’s gone wrong. A bit rich, don’t you think?

On Social Issues and Public Services

Now, let’s talk about the “meritocracy” you seem so fond of. You stand there talking about hard work being rewarded, but under your government, the only people who were rewarded were billionaires and corporations. The nurses, teachers, and public sector workers who actually did the hard work were left with scraps. You’re lecturing us about meritocracy while the public services that keep this country running have been systematically underfunded and left to rot. You’ve stripped the NHS bare, forcing doctors and nurses to work with one hand tied behind their backs. And you think you can just waltz in now and lecture us about fairness?

As for crime, it’s adorable that you pretend to care. Your government slashed police budgets, closed down community centres, and then wondered why crime was going up. You can’t stand there and give us some line about punishing crime without acknowledging that your party made it easier for criminals to thrive. You’ve spent years cutting vital services and now you want to talk tough on crime? Spare me.

And on housing—oh please. Your party's policies made owning a home an impossible dream for an entire generation. You’ve set up a system where young people can barely afford to rent, let alone buy a house. But don’t worry, Kemi, because I’m sure “meritocracy” will solve that too. After all, if you work hard enough, you too can be priced out of the housing market and into your parents' attic!

On Immigration and National Identity

Now we get to the heart of it. The big issue: immigration. You want to keep people out, but let’s get real for a second. Immigration isn’t a “problem” that can be solved by closing borders or spewing divisive rhetoric. It’s part of the fabric of our society, contributing to our economy, our culture, and, dare I say, our humanity. You’ve spent years demonising immigrants as if they were the cause of all the country’s woes, but newsflash: immigrants are, in fact, some of the hardest working and most productive members of society.

Your rhetoric? It’s tired, divisive, and frankly dangerous. The idea that people who’ve fled war and persecution should be forced to assimilate or get out is not only cruel, it’s a political move straight out of the far-right playbook. It’s the same tired tactic used to distract people from the real issues—the ones your government has ignored for over a decade. You can’t use immigration as a scapegoat for your failures. It’s cowardly, and it’s beneath the country that I know.

On Labour and Political Trust

Finally, the best bit. You accuse Labour of “making mistakes,” which is hilarious, considering your party’s history of colossal blunders. Let’s be clear: Labour has been in charge for all of six months, and they inherited a complete mess. You’ve had 14 years to make things better, and what have you done? Shredded the safety net, turned the NHS into a conveyor belt of misery, and left the economy in tatters. And now, suddenly, you’re the one holding the “change” card? The hypocrisy is staggering.

If you want trust, Kemi, you need to earn it. You don’t get to run around blaming Labour for every issue when you’ve been at the helm, making a mockery of every promise you ever made. The British people are fed up with the same faces, the same lies, and the same incompetence. So forgive me if I’m not exactly sold on the idea that the Conservative Party under “new leadership” is the answer. The only thing new here is your ability to spin a failed legacy into something shiny.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Kemi, your party’s track record speaks for itself. You were part of the government that broke this country, and now you’re standing there acting like you’ve got all the solutions. Well, here’s a newsflash: We’ve been here before, and we’re not fooled by the same tired promises and fresh-sounding slogans. Until you and your party actually take responsibility for the mess you’ve made, don’t expect anyone to trust you with the future.

Best regards,
SPN

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