Ah, the Doomsday Clock—humanity’s official timepiece for measuring how much closer we’ve inched towards total annihilation. Every year, scientists issue increasingly desperate warnings, and every year, world leaders respond with a powerful mix of indifference, vague promises, and luxurious international conferences where they sip champagne and debate the best way to delay action.
This year, in a move that will shock absolutely no one, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has moved the clock forward to 89 seconds to midnight, because apparently, the last 12 months weren’t horrifying enough. The biggest threats? Unregulated AI, lab leaks, nuclear brinkmanship, climate catastrophe, and the ever-present threat of human stupidity running unchecked.
Once again, the scientific community is practically screaming into the void that we need immediate action. And in response, global powers have bravely decided to… continue treating the planet like a disposable coffee cup.
A Brief History of Humanity’s Commitment to Self-Sabotage
The Doomsday Clock was created in 1947 by scientists who, in a rare moment of optimism, believed that if you showed people just how close they were to obliteration, they might stop actively racing towards it. That, of course, did not happen. Instead, the clock has been yanked back and forth like a malfunctioning elevator, reflecting seven decades of bad decisions, close calls, and breathtaking levels of incompetence.
1947 – The clock debuts at seven minutes to midnight as the world basks in the post-WWII glow of nuclear weapons and general unease.
1953 – We hit two minutes to midnight after the US and USSR start collecting hydrogen bombs like limited-edition sneakers.
1962 – The Cuban Missile Crisis proves that nuclear war is just one bad decision away, but hey, everyone loves a bit of high-stakes gambling, right?
1991 – The clock moves back to a whopping 17 minutes to midnight after the Cold War ends, nuclear stockpiles shrink, and for one brief moment, it looks like people might stop being terrible. (Spoiler: they did not.)
2002 – Post-9/11 panic drives fears of nuclear terrorism, biological weapons, and geopolitical instability. The clock starts creeping forward again, because of course it does.
2018 – Scientists set the clock to two minutes to midnight due to climate inaction, increased nuclear threats, and the dawning realisation that world leaders are about as reliable as a paper umbrella in a hurricane.
2020–2025 – The clock keeps inching closer and closer, thanks to a global pandemic, economic instability, cyberwarfare, rising authoritarianism, AI-powered chaos, and enough geopolitical tension to make Cold War-era strategists weep into their vodka.
Now, in 2025, we’ve reached the most perilous setting yet. Congratulations, everyone. We did it.
2025: A Spectacular Year for the End of the World
In case you were hoping for good news, allow me to crush those dreams immediately. The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has identified several key reasons why we are now closer to the brink than ever before.
AI-Generated Misinformation & Political Chaos – AI can now churn out deepfake videos, voice clones, and fabricated news stories faster than you can say ‘mass hysteria.’ Elections? Manipulated. Public trust in institutions? Eroded. And yet, we’re still letting tech billionaires—who treat society like a beta test—set the rules. What could possibly go wrong?
Autonomous Weapons & Cyberwarfare – Military strategists have looked at AI and thought, “You know what we need? Robots that can autonomously decide when to kill people.” Meanwhile, cyberwarfare is so advanced that nation-states can now shut down entire economies with a few clicks. But don’t worry—some government committee is totally working on it.
AI-Powered Bioweapons – Because apparently, some scientists thought, “What if we let AI design viruses? That won’t backfire horribly.” Intelligence reports confirm that AI-assisted genetic engineering could create pathogens far deadlier than anything nature ever cooked up. But hey, let’s keep pretending that regulations are just a suggestion.
Nuclear Near-Misses & Strategic Genius – The planet is now home to more nuclear weapons than common sense, and global powers seem very interested in testing how close they can get to disaster. North Korea, Iran, and Russia are all expanding their nuclear arsenals, while long-standing arms treaties are dissolving faster than an ice cap in July. But don’t panic—there’s probably someone responsible watching over the launch buttons.
Climate Collapse, Now with Bonus Wildfires – Last year was the hottest in recorded history, ice caps are melting, and entire ecosystems are collapsing. Meanwhile, governments keep setting distant climate goals that conveniently fall just outside the current administration’s term, ensuring that someone else will have to deal with it.
Geoengineering: Playing God with the Atmosphere – Some scientists, in a last-ditch effort to fix climate change, are proposing to dim the sun, seed clouds, and inject aerosols into the stratosphere. Because, you know, when you can’t solve a problem, just throw some experimental tech at it and hope for the best.
Global Biosecurity: What Even Is That? – High-containment biolabs are popping up everywhere, and the oversight is… let’s say questionable. With every new facility comes the risk of accidentally releasing the next pandemic. And yet, whenever experts warn about this, they’re told to “stop being alarmist.”
Government Response: A Masterclass in Doing Absolutely Nothing
So, how have world leaders responded to these existential threats? With their usual mix of denial, platitudes, and well-catered summits.
Diplomats have pledged to work together on AI ethics and nuclear treaties, which is code for “we’ll discuss this for years before quietly shelving it.”
Tech CEOs have assured the public that AI is totally under control—despite the fact that their entire industry operates on the “move fast and break things” philosophy.
Climate agreements are still being drafted, but conveniently, every major polluter has an exemption that allows them to keep burning fossil fuels indefinitely.
Meanwhile, activist groups are desperately trying to get people to care, only to be met with blank stares or accusations of being “too radical.”
“But What Can I Do?” (Besides Drink Heavily.)
Sure, you alone aren’t going to stop the collapse of civilisation, but if you feel like pretending you can make a difference, here are some ways to try.
Call out misinformation. When your neighbour shares an AI-generated video of the Pope endorsing cryptocurrency, gently encourage them to verify their sources.
Push for AI regulation. Because at the moment, we have stricter laws governing hairdryers than artificial intelligence.
Vote for leaders who care. If you can find any.
Reduce your carbon footprint. At this point, it won’t save the planet, but at least you won’t feel guilty when everything catches fire.
Final Thought: Midnight Is Just Around the Corner
Every year, the Doomsday Clock moves forward, and every year, world leaders hold another well-dressed, well-photographed, and entirely useless meeting to talk about how serious the situation is.
If things keep going this way, we won’t need a Doomsday Clock—because there will be no one left to check the time.
But hey, look on the bright side. At least AI will still be around to generate some truly inspirational quotes for us as we head straight into oblivion.
Enjoyed this? Terrified? Laughing through the existential dread?
Then do the smart thing—subscribe. Stay updated on the world's slow-motion train wreck, delivered with maximum sarcasm and just the right amount of dark humour.
Because if we’re all going down, we might as well go down laughing.